My grandchildren, maybe all of you are familiar with ‘confession’. Everybody has ever made a confession, some even often. Many because of the sadness they experience, always want to tell their awful experiences to their close friends or family. For many people, they will be satisfied as if they had released their burden after confessing their sadness to others.
My grandchildren, if you have taken in my demands, you should not do something like this. Why do I say something like this is bad?
It is true this is not a kind of moral or behavioral offense. Even this is something generally considered as good. Because by making a confession of your sorrow, your suffering will become less. However, in my opinion, there are other impacts you need to understand. Especially the harmful impacts. When you make a confession of your unpleasant feelings to your friends or other people. As the same time, you pollute your friends’ mind. Meanwhile, your mind is as hazy as ever.
As if you threw rubbish into your neighbor’s house. But, the rubbish doesn’t really move there. Instead, it ‘multiplies’! The original rubbish is still in your house until you clean it yourselves. Then the rubbish that you bring to your neighbor’s house is real and it makes their house dirty. Let’s reflect on this case with an example.
Let’s say, you are having a quarrel with your wife or husband. Because argument after argument is left unfinished, of course that heap of annoyance is still there. Every annoyance is caused by one flaw of our spouse. Because your annoyance is piling up, of course the images of the flaws of your spouse are also accumulating. The more you think about the flaws of your spouse, the annoyance will keep piling up as if it is about to burst out of your head. The more you think about your annoyance, the more you will find the flaws of your spouse. Until to the point of ‘there is nothing good about him/her’!
Because you keep following this annoyance by thinking over it, then you will only find hatred and vengeance. There is no effort to find the causes to solve your arguments. Because you cannot bear it anymore, you intend to share it in the hope, the pain will become less. Then you find your close friend.
At the same time, that close friend of yours is sitting in the living room of his own house. He and his wife are happily choosing a name for their first child who is about to be born. It turns out their parents are also staying there because the time of birth is near. The atmosphere of happiness, joy and full of laughters are clearly expressed on every face in that room. Soon, someone will become a father, another one a mother, another one a grandfather, and the other one a grandmother. They are warmly making jokes or playing around. Long story short, if being ‘captured’, this family must have won a happy family award.
After a moment later, you come to that happy family. Because your face expresses the sorrow that you have been holding, they know that you have problems. Because he is your best friend, then he does not want to hurt your feelings.
He tries to adapt to your feelings. Slowly, he starts asking how you are doing and several other things until he asks about the problems that make you sad. He then tries to listen to every problem that you face.
In that glimpse of event, you have done several things that really harmed your best friend. First, your visit had put an end to the festivity in your friend’s family.
If your story really moved your friend, then you have turned the giddy mood in your friend’s house into a gloomy and foul mood.
Then aroused mercy, as if the joy that had been in there, in your friend’s house, who won the happy family award, suddenly turned into grief.
What if your friend got overwhelmed and engulfed by your sorrowful story, exposing all the flaws of your wife, then what would happen? You have dragged your friend into an even worse situation! Now, your friend’s heart has been filled by hatred for your wife and a grudge against her.
My grandchildren, that is how a confession of your sorrow can harm those listening to your confession. If you really do not have any other choice but making a confession, then find the right person. Find a friend who is more composed and stable. Find a person who is wise.
Never share your sorrow with someone who already has a problem, this will be even worse, my grandchildren! Your story can instantly trigger his anger. He can even offer you his harsh and harmful perspectives.
Grandpa’s suggestion. Try to solve your problems yourselves. First, take a careful look at your problems. Find the causes, elaborate it one by one. If you find it difficult, have yourselves rest a bit. Because when you are under pressure, you will not find anything, except that you will feel even more depressed.
Finally, I can only hope problems be away from you. So you do not need to worry about throwing away the rubbish from your bad thoughts.