My grandchildren, who have started a family among you? May happiness always be with you, either you have already had a family or have not.
Now, I will talk a little about misery. I do not mean to scare you when you live this life. I just want you to see this life as it is. Not as what you want it to be.
Just an example about the formation of our body that encompasses the bones, meat, and skin that are connected by millions of nerves. Every touch on our skin will create a sensation, either pleasant or unpleasant. If it is a smooth touch, it will be pleasing. And if it is rough, it will cause pain. That’s why, people crave for caresses. And people will refuse to be hit.
It is also necessary for you to know, my grandchildren, that this ‘organic’ structure of our body is so weak and fragile. When you understand the structure is like that, you will always be cautious and careful about your movements. If you make a wrong move, you will feel the pain. You need to take care of this body as necessary so that your body does not break easily.
When you are sick because of illness, you should not complain nor panic. Because that’s what it takes to be organic. Even bacteria or viruses can live in our body. Because of their parasitic traits, our body feels the pain. And the structure of our body is easily damaged as well. Upon being in contact with even something slighty sharp, it will break and cause pain. And all of you need to know, every cell in this body is alive, grows and ages.
From this simple understanding or our body, if people offer you an anti-aging product, just leave them. Those kinds of people have been trained to influence people. They have prepared so many answers for many possible questions. What I am concerned about is not about your being deceived or robbed by these people, but it is your mentality that can be affected and damaged. When you start wishing for agelessness and longevity with some strange and unreasonable methods, that is when your mentality has been shattered.
That is how this body works. If you do not like pain nor refuse it, then you still do not understand the structure of this body as it is. My grandchildren, if you hope, or even pray, so that you do not experience any pain, then you belong to a group of confused people. Why do I say confused? Because your wish is so weird and doesn’t make sense! You have to know the structure of this body doesn’t allow such conditions!
Then, if you have started to understand my explanation before, let’s be more meticulous. If you notice, this body has a reaction to pleasant and unpleasant sensations. The pleasant sensations turn out to be so few. While unpleasant sensations occur more often. For example, when we are being caressed, it feels good, but when we are hit, it feels awful. So, they become balanced.
Besides that, there is more. If it is too hot, the body will feel pain. If it is too cold, it will feel pain either. Viruses can grow inside this body, there’s itch, tinea versicolor, ringworm, fungal infections and parts of this body may deteriorate by itself. Isn’t it clear, that the discomfort is more dominant than the comfort?
Because this body is aging. Bones turn porous, teeth fall off, for example. That’s why I call it ‘A Series of Misery’, and the happiness is like flowers that only seldom bloom. Why a series? Because this misery seems like being stacked up all day and coming one after another alternately. Why is it so? Because we always move all day long. When we stop moving, we will sleep. And during sleep, we cannot enjoy that comfort of not moving.
The sensation on your tongue is also the same. When you taste a scrumptious food, you will revel in it. But when you have to take a medicine, you will hate it. Though you have appetizing food, you cannot eat it as much as you like. Because when you take too much food, your stomach will be in pain. And when you eat late, your stomach will hurt as well.
So how is it? Do you still dare join a group of confused people? …. Haha….
That is my explanation about this body, if you want to be more detailed, you can observe yourself at home dan upon encountering something new, you can come back here to talk about it.
My grandchildren, that is just a matter of the body in general. While misery isn’t always about pain. Misery is a feeling of discomfort. About anything! Not only about pain. This reaction of unpleasantness is sadness. Most people often experience this sadness.
My example about pain above is only one of the five gates of misery that is related to our body. Even some of that discomfort do not have anything to do with pain at all. For example, people who have problems with their vision. They feel uncomfortable and suffer.
My grandchildren, misery is not merely about pain in its literal meaning. What is worse is mental suffering. Because our mentality can be hurt easily. This mentality of ours can be hurt even without any contact to a physical object. How? Interesting, isn’t it? Next, let’s play with our imagination. Play with our feelings to examine this one kind of misery.
Now, Grandpa won’t explain about our five senses as the source of our misery because some of you have heard it from me. And I need a long time to elaborate it. Now we will only play with our imagination about a situation, not reality. Though it is like that, though it is not real, the pain can be unbearable.
A girl who sends a short message to her boyfriend and doesn’t receive any reply will be annoyed. When she can still maintain her patience, she will resend her message. When her patience is decreasing, then she will call him directly. If the phone goes through but the boyfriend does not pick it up, then this girl will be annoyed. When the girl makes another call after an hour, two hours and still no answer, then this girl will be very upset. Half an hour later, this girl writes another message that is longer and in her sharp words. After there is no answer, half an hour later she writes another message, but shorter. She starts threatening to break up with him.
In that simple example, there is actually a serious conflict happening in the little girl’s mind, that makes her so furious. And that drama of conflict is just a process of imagination based on her concern and fear of losing a boyfriend. Even though this girl cannot make it through her boyfriend, the feelings of sadness and annoyance are real. This girl may not be able to close her eyes at all at night.
A father who just arrives home from taking his daughter to her boarding house is interrogated by the mother about the environment of the boarding house. Is that place safe for her daughter? Is it far or close from her campus? Are there any lads lingering around that place? And many other unreasonable questions. Because the father also has the same concern as the mother, instead of answering her questions, he scolds her. Eventually, the mother does not say anything, and becomes not interested in his answers. What happens in the end instead is just an awkward and uncomfortable situation.
The two continue their own activities. However, no one is really serious about their activities. Even until before they go to sleep, no one talks to each other. As if they are distant to each other. But their minds go to the same spot. To their daughter. Sometimes a horror image of their daughter shows up, but they erase it and replace it with a better image to comfort themselves. That is how those two parents cannot sleep because they are busy thinking of their daughter who just starts her study in a university in a big city. Meanwhile, their daughter is sleeping soundly there.
Then my grandchildren, all of them are illustrations of how our mentality can experience sadness so easily. They can be sad because of false mental images. If the fake ones can make our mentality suffer, then the real ones will easily break us.
It turns out that these false mental images can make us suffer. Interesting, isn’t it? Then, my grandchildren, can these false images also make us happy?
They can, my grandchildren! It can be easy, but it can also be extremely difficult. All that series of images really depends on the initial trigger for those images or imaginations. If it is a horrible image that shows up fist, then this horrible image will develop into a drama about every bad possibilities until it ends. And the end of that drama is always awful. On the other hand, if it is a pleasant image that initially shows up, then a drama of happiness will start to form.
The most difficult part is to initiate a pleasant image. Because what image that will show up really cannot be manipulated. It shows up just like that. None instructs it. So there is not a choice, the good one or the bad one. Many scholars initiate a theory of ‘Positive Thinking’. I think, that theory is just a mere manipulation theory. It does not really affect much, my grandchildren. If you practice it, you will just deceive yourselves and end up with insignificant results.
The best method you can get is by practicing your morality and applying it in your daily life. So it is not just you train your mind to think positively. But your behavior in everyday life always has to be positive as well.
Because they are real actions and behavior, then the fruit it bears will be real as well. If you always behave, then many people will like you. Not just a mere manipulation of mind. Here there is a peace. Someone who behaves is not worried about their lives. And if you live your lives without worry, then you will have a peaceful mind. This peace of mind will positively and directly affect how you think.
On the contrary, in a certain situation, a positive mind that is not supported by positive behavior will misguide you. If you do not behave, then people hate you. Then, if you know many people do not like you and you still think positively, they you have misjudged your surroundings. Consequently, many bad occasions will befall you.
That’s it, my grandchildren. A bad habit always triggers an unpleasant thought even in a peaceful situation. On the other hand, a good habit will trigger a good thought. Every good meditation teacher always judges their students’ morality as the prerequisite for the meditation training. Because when your body stops moving and there is no activity, it is your mind that jumps around like starving monkeys.
That is what Grandpa can share about how this body and mind experience grief and joy in an unbalanced portion. If you have understood, I hope you can be wiser to live your life. When you are in pain, you do not need to panic. If you do, then you may mistake in analysing your illness, then you can take wrong medicine. Doesn’t that stupid action cause you more trouble?
When you have a headache, think first. Maybe you eat late, and then you get sick. The effect is maybe an ache in the head. The medicine, just eat until you are stuffed, the headache may be gone. If you are full but still have a headache, maybe your brain has worked too hard. This may also cause a headache. If that so, what you need to do is take a rest. Or maybe a hammer just falls on your head, or your head just hit a wall. It must be painful, mustn’t it? And you do not need to think again … Haha… Do not even try to make an unreasonable analysis. I have a headache, maybe this is a work of witchcraft or the evil spirits around here. Haha… What an unreasonable thought.
Let’s end this. I want to sleep first, you are the ones who will sleep here, suit yourself. Don’t forget to turn off the lights. The electricity is expensive!